What is Love!?

Most of you are familiar with the catchy song sung by Haddaway:

"What is Love?"

This is the same questions we are going to explore today!  Just in a little bit of a different context.

M. Scott Peck said, "One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever, to my knowledge, arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. In an effort to explain it, therefore, love has been divided into various categories: eros, philia, agape; perfect love and imperfect love, and so on. I am presuming, however, to give a single definition of love, again with the awareness that it is likely to be in some way or ways inadequate. I define love thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another's spiritual growth." (The Road Less Traveled, 1978, p. 81)


so lets take a closer look into those different aspects of Love that the Greeks have defined for us, here are just some basic defining words I wrote during our class discussion:

Eros: erotic, romantic, sexual 

Philia: brotherly love, friends, intimate

Storge: love of a parent for a child

Agape: service, improve their life, Charity 

Understanding these it becomes more clear why some couples who are quickly physically intimate through hand holding, hugs, cuddling or beyond before they have developed the other aspects find that 'love grows cold'  or that they just 'fall out of love'  while Eros is an extremely important aspect of a romantic relationship it should not be the full foundation on which we build.

Philia explains the loyalty we feel when a part of a team.  While in high school I ran on the cross country team.  We loved each other, in a non romantic way.  That love and loyalty made it possible for us to appropriately give constructive criticism and to push and expect more out of each other.

A love I cannot claim very much familiarity with is that captured by the idea of Storge, the love of a parent for their child.  I've heard its powerful, maybe even more so than other forms of love.

Agape is a love that we have an ever increasing need for in our day and time.  To desire to lift or serve another human is more noble than any selfish desire, no matter how prestigious it may be.  This love brings people together in a way that is unmatched by the other forms.

and maybe that is the main lesson to learn, that there are different aspects to love and they all have their place.  Perhaps one is not more important than the other but we need to use them together to gain the fulfillment that we are all seeking in this life.

stay tuned for more on these forms of love and their applications into our life.  but until next time take a second to evaluate the important relationships in your life.  Can you identify these forms of love? How do they work together?

What is love?  While we might not be able to adequately capture it with words, at the very least, lets be aware of it, and allow it to enrich the relationships we treasure. 

Family Myths 101

Have you ever heard the sore throat remedy of honey and lemon??

Or maybe you are a firm believer in running your hands under cold water when you cut an onion to keep from crying? 

Where did these ideas come from?  

Are they valid?

The following are a few common  myths about marriage and the family that people have heard and some have come to accept:

Myth 1: Opposites attract- while some difference are inevitable in every relationship it is not common to talk your differences on your first date.  In fact we usually try to find and focus on interest or experiences that we share.  Research shows that those who are similar in social background, lifestyle, values, and interests are not only more attracted to each other but they last longer as well.

 Myth 2: A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital Satisfaction-  research and polls have shown that many people do get married for this reason, but a poll of 300 couples who had been married for 15 years or more brought light to the subject as they agreed that sex was not among the top 10 things contributing to the quality of their marriage.  while it was a part of these marriages they did not believe it a good predictor or even a major contributor to marital satisfaction.

Myth 3: Half of All Marriages End in Divorce- hard work has been put in recently to try and gather accurate information but experts have been running into issues gathering useful data.  Lets say we use the high marriage rate college town Rexburg, Idaho as an example.  If we were to gather information from the city on how many marriage licenses have been given, and then a year later or two or ten years later gather from the same city how many divorces there have happened in the elapsed time, would that give us accurate information?  Hopefully you can see how difficult it can be to gather this information.  While divorce rates have been rising as a nation we are still far from 50%.  Have hope!

Stop to think before you believe all that you hear.  While it is true that 100% of all people that drink water die, we should not be afraid to drink water.  The Family is of God

The Family is of God.  

     I recently returned from a two year mission in various parts of New Mexico and Texas.  This opportunity to work everyday with individuals and families of various backgrounds, beliefs and preferences was the most rewarding of my young life.  

      As missionaries we take every opportunity to serve, love, listen, teach and form meaningful relationships with all those we came in contact with.  We became familiar with hardships and trial of almost every kind. Through it all, two things always remained, the love of God, our Father, evidenced by the gift of His Son and the gift of earthly families.  A unit of society designed to be patterned after our heavenly one.   

                                        God's love is real.  Families are a gift.